Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Stupid People Wednesday

On my first post I promised that I would tell some of the funniest stupid people stories I run across from time to time so I am designating this Stupid People Wednesday. For those of you who don't know, I have been an adult Probation/Parole Officer from 24 years. I am now working on 2nd the 3rd generations of the same families. I have had several offenders say - you had my Mom, Dad, sibling and even my Grandpa/Granny on probation. Somehow, that kind of statement is weird to me. If my Mom, Dad, brother, sister or Grandparent had been on probation, I don't think I would advertise it. But these "offenders" are actually proud of it and feel that the fact I supervised their family member on probation some years back gives us some sort of "connection". Weird, huh. Oh and the term "offender" is what the State of Tennessee says we are to call out probationers/parolees. I no longer carry a caseload. My job responsibilities are presentence investigations and classification reports. Presentences are done after an offender is found guilty of a felony and has a sentencing hearing set by the court. Classifications reports are done on those who plea and go straight to prison. I interview the offenders, the victims, etc and do a background check on the offender for the court. In other words, I dig up the dirt on them. I love it, and I am very good at. Anyways on to the stories...

My all time favorite statement made by and offender is: "I am not guilty of the offense I committed". hmmmmm....I committed it, but I'm not guilty - The Judge loved that one!

My Favorite - oops you got me story is: 2 guys are sneaking next door to the local recycling plant and stealing large spools of copper wire. They go back to the victim the next day and sell it back to him. The victim, of course, recognizes the copper wire. The police are called and come to investigate. Now I should tell you that it snowed the night before. So the investigators go out back, find where the idiots cut through the fence and, you guessed it, follow their foot prints in the snow right to their backdoor. Surprisingly....these two went to prison..... wonder why....

More stories to come....see ya'll

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