Sunday, July 20, 2014

A year in review

It's been over a year since my last post and a lot has happened.  I decided to return to blogging and this post is a catharsis for me.
A year ago this month my husband of 28 years came home, said he did not want to be married anymore, packed a bag and left.  He assured me that hewas not cheating, however, he immediately moved in with his girlfriend.  I discovered his deceit that night when I started changing passwords and happened on their emails and messages.  So the next day I filed for divorce and had him served at his new home.  Since my insurance was about to change, I decided I needed to get my routine medical exams completed.  I scheduled a mammogram, not expecting that anything would be different from the past 18 years.  Well, fate had something more in store for me.  My mammogram was suspicious so I was scheduled for a diagnostic mammogram.  I was concerned when I saw the look on the technician's face as she came back into the room to reposition me for more films.   My suspicions were realized when I received a letter telling me to see a surgeon ....I got the letter on my birthday...oh joy.  Well in a nutshell I had a needle biopsy and yep, it was confirmed as cancer.  After a series of consults with surgeons, breast cancer specialists, plastic surgeons and oncologists along with a plethora of tests, I had surgery on November 4th.  I was diagnosed with stage one (this was good) invasive ductal carcinoma....triple negative breast cancer (this was bad).  Triple negative breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer and the hardest to treat. trip to cancerland began with chemotherapy starting in December.  The first treatment drove my white cell count into the toilet and I ended up in the hospital for Christmas.  After that, I managed to survive the side effects and moved on to radiation.  I completed all my treatments and returned to work in June.  Now, you would think that my ex would be a nice guy through all of this but noooo, he was a complete and total selfish ass.  He essentially wanted to walk away and leave me with everything including all the debt.  This included the 2nd mortgage that he, unbeknownst to me, had run up to over $30,000.  I dug in my heels and fought to get what I wanted....for him to pay off that loan.  By the way he had withdrawn $5000 the week before he left to set he and his fiance up in their new life...yeah, he gave her an engagement ring the week after he left.  Every time he thought I was getting out of line, he would theaten to take the dogs.  All of this while I was receiving chemotherapy.  The divorce was final in January and I got the house,  the dogs and my life back.  Did they marry...don't know, don't care..but I think it's illegal to marry your cousin, even in Tennessee (yes, she is his cousin).  Sounds like a lifetime movie....
Over the past year I have learned a lot...
1.  God does give you more than you can handle...this is so you will lean on him.
2. I have an awesome family who loves me.
3. I have a ton of wonderful friends and awesome neighbors!
4. I am happier than I have been in years.  I did not realize how miserable I was.
So what now....who knows, but I'm looking forward to the ride!

1 comment:

Sharrie said...

You go girl! I've been there, and it is funny when you realize how much happier you are after all the crap. Keep up the good work!